you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
