fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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