She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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