so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
