I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
