You're my little dorito
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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