its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
