I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
