she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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