PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
