Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
