I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
