Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
