If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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