I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
it glows. i had to have it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
there is glitter all over my balls
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