When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
