But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
