What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Never underestimate the power of titties
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
