She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
