all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
