I hate all girls vehemently.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
