I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
