i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
