is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
