Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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