Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
