WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
