Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
