Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
