should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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