You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
is it fun? or sober?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
