what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
