i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
