Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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