And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
