the condom got lost in my hair
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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