we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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