After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
