i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
