Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
