Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
