she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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