Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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