I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
