if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
