I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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