i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
