After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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