i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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