Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize
